The Alarm of clock starts to sing its song, screaming. That’s sound make Shah suddenly wake up from the deep sleep in enjoying the beautiful dream. He then quickly checks his phone that stated in his right; it shows six o’clock in the morning. With a hard-to-open eye, he takes the phone and shut it off from disturbing him from sleeping. The atmosphere turn to be silent and calm again, then he intend to continue his sleep again. Slowly Shah just closes his eyes back. But he needs to realize that he must to wake up to start a new day of life. He just close his eyes hope to have some more time to get sleep well. The long night seems doesn’t fit to his relaxing time. He just deserves more, to keep his heart calm. But Shah does understand and got noticed about the reality. It is not as beautiful or splendid as dream.
However, he takes it as a positive side of view. A night to have a dream and a day to make a commitment to achieve what has been dream of and plan. It just needs to become true in reality. In life, he just tries to follow his own dream. Believes that it will become a reality no matter how hard it is. Only the time that matters records the timeline of the proven dreams. Only with that dreams, he’s able to have strength to move on and take one more steps to not give up about his life. It is proven that his own created dreams have saved him from the sickness feeling of life that he now experienced.
Shah has just told to himself to have a dream, a noble dream as a catalyst for him to feel the beauties of life and then being grateful for.
“Dear Shah, again, just follows your dream, a vision that you deserve the most. A big dreams which as a noble dream to keep you up and stay on the track. A dream where to enlighten others life, as it will enlighten yours too.” His heart says for itself, as an inspiration to create a wonderful life on his own.
Shahs just feel some relief, and now he can smile for himself to begin his new day in the morning. He feels so grateful because he still can enjoy his life no matter what hardness comes. He do believes, The Almighty still loves him and in every single steps that he takes, HE is always there to accompany.
With that determination, Shah just wake up and get prepared of him to go to bathroom, prepared for Subuh prayer and then got to go to work. He tiding up his bed and then reach the towel, entrances the bathroom to have a shower.
Yesterday was a very enjoyable day, full of laugh and happiness. A spending time with friends after working hours that had been prolong until in the middle of the night. At that day was a day with full of laughter, funnier, an own world that had been created with ease and warmth hearted, far from distress and tension after a day just stayed at the office to have a work to be done with.
Shah wearing his cloth by watching himself in the mirror that stated in front of him. He just loves himself and pretends to enjoy his life freely. After all done, Shah perform some pray in purpose to have a good deed as God has given him a good look in his appearance.
After all done, he goes out of his house that rental together with his housemates by motorcycle. Kicking out the pedal starter and before the throttle up, again he perform some pray; to have a safe journey to reach in his workplace and hoping that this day will be more better than yesterday, in order to manage the day and every single day that comes, wisely.
Shah goes to work with an excitement that he created in his heart. Every second of his ride to go to the office were enjoying him much. He just like riding as it will give him some therapy to feel a relaxation. His heart feels ease and comfort again.
“Hi guys, good morning, how are you?” Says Shah after arrive in office.
“Yea, I’m fine, as usual, how are you then?” Say Faizal, Shah’s friend that sits beside his left.
“Okay.” Shah gives a response shortly.
“Where’s Aiman, is he still not coming in the office?”
“I think so, maybe a minute or two he will come.” Say Faizal.
“Okay… I’m sleeping at two o’clock yesterday. Just feeling a little bit sleepy right now. But, don’t worry, I am trying to make it normal right now.” Say Shah, try to sharing his story.
Faizal shows a cynical smile. Sleeping late at night is just a normal situation for him and Aiman. Not a big problem and it doesn’t matter at all. But Faizal do understand. Shah is not a kind of guy that always pretends to sleep late at night until early morning.
“It just a small matter friend, you know Aiman always sleep at four o’clock every day, but sometimes going to five. I know him for a month.” Explain Faizal that knowing what Aiman always do since they together lived in the same rental apartment near their office.
“What did he do? Watching a movie or what? Is he continuing his working until late night?” ask Shah then, feeling awkward.
“Yea, he is ‘working’, online. I mean, he’s gaming until early morning. Sometimes I’m joining him too, but going rare when I just got moved to my parent’s house.” Say Faizal, giving the answer.
“Oh, okay I understand.” Say Shah. Feeling nerd about himself that always sleep early at night compared to Aiman and Faizal. For Shah, it’s all new for him, but he try to accept all that kind of things as everybody in this life has a freedom to express oneself.
They just start their work as usual. An office work that will never get end no matter how much effort or time you want to finish it. After a moment then, Aiman just appears to the office, with full of energetic to start a day to work. Shah feels amaze, he wonder how Aiman could had such a life like that although do not get enough sleep. He wants to have it. He really wants it, so that he can push aside his sorrow and sadness by enthusiasm of life. He just feels sick to walk along in his life, alone. It seems like nobody will help and he’s just lost his way in order to stay on the right path. The road of life that he takes now seems burden him. Shah wants to end it, he don’t need to feel the heartbroken for any longer. Hope to end it very soon, but seems doesn’t find the way.
“Morning guys, have a great day today.” Say Aiman, greeting the staffs that nearing him.
“Yeah, morning Aiman. I’m fine.” Shah gives response.
“Just nice.” Says Faizal then, after Aiman greets Shah.
Aiman just sit in his place. Switch on the computer and wait while the system to starts. Then he tries to talk again.
“You know what, last night I just killed the dragon. A very big dragon, even bigger than a house.” Say Aiman to Faizal.
“Yeah, I know, I trust you. Is the dragon is cute or fierce?” Say Faizal, teasing.
“Of course the fierce-look one, without mercy just attacks straight to us. But sometimes look cute.” Say Aiman and then he giggle.
“Ooh, okay I thought that you just playing an amateur game. I just wonder how the cute character can kill the fierce dragon. It’s so inspiring.” Say Faizal.
“Yes, but it not easy to kill that dragon, only me and some of the online player can defeat it. The others just died, but me I’m just alive.” Say Aiman, feels proud of himself.
“You are so cruel. Haha…” Faizal says teasingly.
“Heh heh, now they know who actually the dragon is.” Aiman continued with cynical smile.
Shahs just keep hearing the conversation by doing his work, seriously focus. But in his heart there is something that Shah wants to talk about to them, a request.
“Hey guys, are you free this evening, after working hours? I think that I want to go somewhere, to have a drink or watching movies.” Shah voices out his want.
“Ooh, okay, we get a next outing tonight. I’m just okay, because I want to have some excitement today, what about you Faizal?” Aiman gives his answer.
“Okay, I’m on, follow you guys.” Say Faizal shortly.
“And yeah, I want to buy some food for my dinner for this week.” Explain Aiman.
“Okay guys, thank you for that.” Shah continued, happily.
“But, hurm… do you still remember that you want to support my dinner right?” Say Faizal, tackling Shah to pay all his dishes tonight.
“Waa… so tricky you are…” reply Shah.
“Okay, tonight I will pay all your food and drink. Let’s have some fun.” Continue Shah with smile in his face.
“Orite, deal.” Say Aiman shortly.
“So, where you want to brought us then?” Ask Aiman.
“Oh yeah, is it okay if we go to Galaxy Megamall. I have heard there has sales of several of clothes and others wear accessories. If you guys don’t mind.” Say Shah giving the answer.
“Okay, it such a nice place to have walk. I agree for that place.” Aiman replied Shah, as a sign of acceptance.
“I’m just okay. As long as we can have a dinner there.” Tease Faizal. Remembering what Shah has said to him.
Faizal just smile, his trick were just successful. He know Shah, the person with soft-hearted that can easily got played because of his too-kindness character. But he feels some weird. Why easily Shah took his request so fast, do not have any sign of rejection in Shah’s face. It just like Shah wants to have a happy and enjoyment moment together with friends. It must have some reason for this, but Faizal don’t want to focus on that questions. He just takes it lightly and as a normal situation. What matter the most is that after working hours, he have a time to express himself freely with such an enjoyment and happy.
“Shah, could you come here for a minutes?” Mr. Adam calls Shah to assist his work. Mr. Adam was the superior of Shah with the same unit at that department, an office work with its well-known hierarchy.
“Okay sir, I’m coming.” Reply Shah.
“Excuse me for a moment friends.” Say Shah to Faizal and Aiman, to start his job for this morning.
“Okay, we do our own too.” Say Aiman to have a work to be done too. It goes the same to Faizal. All of them just start the work with discipline and full of commitment. But the sincere was hard to predict.
* * * * *
The time shows six o’clock in the evening. It is a sign of the off hours of working. The rules set in five thirty minutes as an end time of office work. Aiman, Faizal and Shah end their work quite late since they have some extra works that need to be done. Time goes by, and then they are preparing to enjoy and have a ‘life’ outside from the office.
As night comes, Shah, Faizal and Aiman already arrive at the Galaxy Megamall. The biggest shopping complex with variety of brand in sale, but that’s not the point for them to reach there; to have a shopping. As they arrive to just have some dinner and laugh, to have a moment together that enlighten their burdened at the office and pressure of emotion about task that need to be done perfectly. A time togetherness to live the life and for Shah, to have a new way look of his life and hope that he could forget his past. Although they have fun together, it is after performing the Maghreb prayer.
A lot of things they talk about. The people around them, the office things, the hobby that Aiman very love about, besides a serious fact about knowledge. They make jokes together, teasing other person as a lark. That’s the Aiman and Faizal ‘talent’ that create a story to make jokes and then laugh together. Not as Shah, he’s not being able to create a joke that make people laugh hard. Only a light jokes and some serious story about himself in his daily life. Shah can’t to have a great story of joke, because his heart was not for it at that moment. It just like some kind of thing that has stops Shah to make his friend laugh hardly. But at least Shah can have it one by Aiman and Faizal help.
Shah just love that moment. Funny moments that make him laugh and forget all the things that burdened him. It just feels like he is free from sadness and hurt feeling. He just feels free about his life and seems the bright future is in front of him confidently. Have a lunch together with Faizal and Aiman make Shah’s feels more comfortable and full of acceptance and belonging.
“haha… haha.. hey Aiman, can you stop to make a joke. I cannot hold my laugh anymore.” Say Faizal.
Shah also getting laugh about Aiman jokes, but then he just smiles.
“haha.. But I think you still can control it. Did you guys still remember our friends, Hana. She can’t control her laugh until all the drink split out in her nose.” Say Aiman added the naughty joke.
They all together continued laughing again.
“I think we should finish the drink, because the film will start soon.” Say Shah. After this they plan to watch movies, a funny movie together.
“Oh yeah, I think we should stop the laughing and let’s eat.” Say Faizal when he realizes it got still a lot of fries in him, also his drink. Aiman also is the same, but Shah already finishes up his dish.
“Don’t even start it Faizal, give me a time to eat.” Warn Aiman when Faizal want to start the jokes. Faizal then turn his face to Shah, just talking something only with him.
After all the dishes got finish, Shah, Aiman and Faizal go to cinema at that shopping complex to have an entertainment where the films were generated by animation. A good animation story that gives the message of chooses to live no matter what happen in life. An optimist story that represented with full of funny but make sense. A story that mix of the happiness, sadness, wisdom, hardship and belief element. They just love it, the film is just nice and worth to be watch to.
All along the night at that day Shah feels so happy. He is so hope that this happiness will last forever and like his past also the same too. Time goes by, they are all already finishes their movies. Now it time for them to go back home. Before that, they are all greets each other; to have a safe journey in reaching home and hope to see tomorrow at office.
Shah started his motorcycle, and slowly rides out of the shopping complex. In the middle of the night, he alone, rides his bike in the dark along the motor side in highway. Although the atmosphere is cold, but Shah has feeling some relief in heart. At least the burden that haunted him slowly goes out, away from him.
The watch in Shah’s left hand shows one o’clock in the morning. At that time he is just arrive home. Then he parks his motorcycle nicely in the parking place inside the house. With some tired feeling, Shah slowly walks in his room. All his three housemate that shared together in that room has already sleeps. At this time right now, Shah just didn’t feel tired, but sleepy too.
After the keys has put in the special rack. Shah sits in his own bed. He became pensive for a while. At the darkest night, Shah then put his eyes into the book files just besides his right; on the table. Then Shah just picks up that files and slowly open the pages one by one. That files contains of a wish card from the girl that he loves the most, his lover, Sofea.
The cards that writes all the Sofea’s feeling towards Shah, from every single moment of his memory with her. Although the dark in the room makes Shah hard to read the words from the cards, but it harder for Shah to forget that words that bear in his mind. A word that makes Shah feels happy at that moment. A love expression from Sofea that made his day.
But now all that words become thorn in his heart. It is because the girl that he loves the most was not for him anymore. Loves that were fated not to be together, no matter how strong Shah love is. It so frequent Shah always looks back that card. But now the different is, there are no more tears that are spread out in his eyes. No more cries in the eyes but still in his heart. To forget the one that he loves the most is like killing himself. Shah just can’t accept it but no matter how, he must learn to forget. To get Sofea happy with her husband, a wedding that just newly celebrated just for a few week previously.
He cans still seeing that card that Sofea gives to him, but he just can’t to accept the Sofea’s smile in her wedding with other guy that have been fated for Sofea. He tries to learn but still can’t accept that.
For the month goes by. The tears and hurt feeling that burdened Shah become more critical. He even doesn’t have any wills anymore to stand up.
But Shah doesn’t have any choices. He must become strong to face a day. To take a steps in his life without her anymore. He tries to motivate himself, as hard as he can. And hope he can.
The night becomes darker. Shah just put back that book files in its place and lying in his bed. He must face another day tomorrow with strong in heart. As the stars and the moon shine the night, the smile of Sofea just bears in his mind. The smile that just only for him that never will coming back. The smile that Shahs will never getting back.
~ The End ~
Author: MFR
Thursday, 5th December 2013
12.55AM
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